Thanksgiving

We have been back in Sweden for a couple weeks now and even though the feeling is a little bit bittersweet, I have so many things to be thankful for.
Coming in to Sweden is never too much fun. It's normally cold and dark (I always fly back home in November for some reason which is also known as Sweden's worst month.) and it's absolutely nothing like coming in to Hawaii where you get to walk out straight from the airplane and be welcomed by a wonderful warmth hitting your face. This time was different though. Both Luke and I felt very happy to be home. I really feel like our time in Hawaii couldn't have been better but it did feel good to be home.
Not because our 26 hours of traveling were finally over or the fact that we would get to sleep in our own bed for the first time in almost three months but because we both feel like we're supposed to be here and we're happy with it.
We're obviously not stoked about it getting dark at three in the afternoon and that the temperature is hitting freezing point, but it doesn't bother us that much still.

About a year ago we prayed about our future asking God to lead us. We want to do missions someday and have had the Philippines in our thoughts for a while, so we didn't know if we're supposed to stay here, go into some mission school to prepare or move somewhere else. God answered by us getting pregnant which we took as a sign to stay here but even still we've felt like we couldn't put down roots here really. But now we feel excited to invest in people here and see this as our missions field which is a great feeling.
Thinking this is only temporary and dreaming about a future somewhere will truly make you miss out on life here and now and not take advantage of what's around you.


Yesterday we celebrated thanksgiving with two other Swedish-American couples from our church. It's a few more days to the actual thanksgiving but since this was the only day we could do it, we went ahead and celebrated a few days early.
I love going around the table and hearing what everyone is thankful for. It gives you perspective and reminds you of things to be thankful for. At first it can seem hard to find things to be thankful for, but once you get going you see all the little things that makes your life a little bit more magical.

No matter what and no matter where I want to follow the bible verse below. Always always always thankful, not just on a too-early-thanksgiving day.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Right now I am so thankful for those two couples. It makes it easier and more fun for all of us having people around us that knows what it's like to move across the big blue to be with your spouse.

The reason we're here

I've been wanting to write about Brenda's memorial service for a week now but just haven't been able to start. I guess I'll start from the beginning and we'll see where we end up.
 
We found out Brenda had cancer early this spring. From being a healthy and active woman her body started working against her and completely locked her in. She could no longer run around to garage sales, go grocery shopping or even get to the bathroom without being in pain. We skyped her when we had the chance and tried to keep in contact.

After Chloe was born we were able to Skype a couple times before she disappeared for a while. She didn't reply on Facebook and was never online on Skype. Getting worried we contacted Luke's brothers and found out she had been staying down at their beach house because of frequent hospital visits.
I think we got to Skype her once after she got back and then we just got to hear updates from a pastor that spent a lot of time by Brenda's side and Luke's brother who was able to call on the phone. They told us she most likely had one more month to live but soon it changed to a week and then a day. We booked the tickets to fly out but unfortunately she passed four days before we came in.

Our plan from the start was to come over here for about three months to either be able to help around the house and spend time with Brenda or help out preparing for the funeral. When we got the news that she didn't make it we knew the trip would be focused on the funeral, so this whole trip that is what we have been waiting for and now this past Saturday it was finally time.
It was hard having to wait for it for so long because to me it felt like we didn't just wait to say good bye, but we were also waiting for the moment we could grab a hold of the fact that she's gone. It's still hard to understand that she's not here anymore but at least the funeral gave a little closure.

The memorial service was beautiful. It was a very loving atmosphere which was all we really wanted. Around 100 people came to celebrate the life Brenda had and to remember what an amazing woman she was.
She was so much more than a mother-in-law to me and I am so grateful for the little time I got to spend with her. I feel really selfish the moments I wish she could come back because I know she is in  a much, much better place. But believe me, she was extraordinary. She loved Jesus with all her heart and you could see it in everything she did. She was so full of life and it rubbed of on everyone around her.
We will forever remember her as the wonderful woman she was and we will tell our kids stories about their nana.
Sure it feels like we're all suffering a great loss, but lucky for us, it won't be long till we'll see each other again.

Elias, Nathan, Allen, Zachary and Luke. Brenda's four sons and husband.

Brenda

Location of the Memorial Service

Our new friend Bethel wrote a blog post about the memorial that I think you should all read if you have the time. Click on the link and it'll take you there. Link to Bethel's blog.